A Festivus Tail: Blossom of Snow and Ariel’s Feats of Fluff
It was December 23rd in Samantha’s cozy living room, and the air was alive with mischief. Blossom of Snow, the elegant and overly dramatic Borzoi, stretched out regally on the couch, while Ariel, the pint-sized Maltipoo with an attitude the size of a Great Dane, scampered around, barking orders.
This wasn’t your typical holiday season. No tinsel, no tree. Samantha had declared, “Enough with the chaos of Christmas! This year, we celebrate Fluffivus—a holiday for the pets, by the pets!”
Blossom lifted her regal head. “What exactly is Fluffivus?” she inquired in her posh Borzoi accent.
Ariel snorted. “It’s the one time a year where I get to call you out for hogging the couch! Also, treats.”
The Pole of Fluffivus
Samantha set up a tall, shiny dog agility pole in the center of the room. “This is the Fluffivus Pole!” she announced.
Blossom squinted at it. “It lacks the refinement of a proper holiday decoration.”
Ariel jumped on her hind legs, twirling like a canine gymnast. “You just hate it because it’s not covered in velvet and imported from Paris!”
The pole fell over dramatically, landing on Blossom’s tail. She yelped. Ariel smirked. “Feats of Strength have already begun!”
The Airing of Grievances
The pets sat in a circle around Samantha, who was officiating with a festive headband featuring blinking lights. “Now, it’s time for the Airing of Grievances,” Samantha said. “Ariel, you’re up.”
Ariel leapt onto her tiny soapbox (literally a soapbox Samantha had painted for her). “I’ve got a bone to pick with you, Blossom—literally! Every time I bury a bone, you dig it up and pretend it’s yours! This house isn’t big enough for one diva, let alone two.”
Blossom sighed dramatically, draping a paw over her eyes. “Please, Ariel. Your so-called ‘bones’ are rubber squeaky toys that clash with my aesthetic. I’m doing you a favor.”
Ariel turned to Samantha. “And you! Enough with the baths! I smell fine. Let me roll in that dead fish next time!”
Blossom perked up. “Yes, Samantha. And while we’re at it, how about a silk-lined bed for me? This ‘dog bed’ nonsense is simply barbaric.”
Feats of Strength
Samantha clapped her hands. “Okay, pets! It’s time for the Feats of Strength! Ariel, you start.”
Ariel flexed her miniature paws and sprinted to the Fluffivus Pole, attempting to drag it upright. It tipped sideways, knocking over a lamp. She barked furiously. “See? Raw power!”
Blossom stood, her fur glistening like freshly fallen snow. “Amateur.” With a graceful leap, she snagged a throw pillow from the couch, balanced it on her nose, and pranced around the room like a ballerina.
“Oh, come on!” Ariel growled. “That’s not strength. That’s showing off.”
Blossom smirked. “And yet, here we are.”
Ariel growled and lunged at the pillow. A tug-of-war ensued, with Blossom pulling Ariel across the room like a mop. Samantha, laughing too hard to intervene, declared, “This might be the greatest Fluffivus Feat of Strength yet!”
Fluffivus Miracles
In the spirit of Fluffivus, Samantha began announcing miracles. “Blossom didn’t knock over my tea today. A Fluffivus Miracle!”
Blossom huffed. “I’m insulted.”
“And Ariel didn’t shred the couch cushions this morning. Another Fluffivus Miracle!”
“I was distracted by the UPS truck,” Ariel muttered.
Samantha stood and lifted her mug. “To Blossom, Ariel, and the weirdest, most wonderful Fluffivus yet! May we always air our grievances and perform feats of fluff!”
As the night ended, Blossom lounged on her throne of couch cushions, Ariel snored in a pile of her stolen toys, and Samantha wondered if Fluffivus should become an annual tradition.
For the pets, the answer was clear: as long as there were grievances, strength to flaunt, and snacks, Fluffivus would reign.
Art: ‘FLUFFIVAS FESTIVITIES: A Canine Celebration”
© 2024 Samantha Syrnich TLC
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